This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize