oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
