At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
