did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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