: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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