I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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