It's Friday. Sex?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
