I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
