i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
