I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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