can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
