why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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