he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
