the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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