she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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