can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
