we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
