Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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