its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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