Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
