I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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