I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
false alarm, still single
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
