i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
