if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
