I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
