we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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