Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.