Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
