There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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