Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Are we in a gay sports bar?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
