Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
