oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
