i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
