She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
