I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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