new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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