didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
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I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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