Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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