Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
