you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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