Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
