u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
