Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
