Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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