I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize