Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
