I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
