No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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