Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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