so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
