Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
