Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
