If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
smell my finger.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
