we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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