walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
