So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
