you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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