Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
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does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
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Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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