did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize