You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
